Headcanons.
AU Headcanon:
Mario and Luigi are twin brothers, well known to the world as heroes. Their cousins, Wario and Waluigi, are also twins- known as nothing more than nuisances. Though, Wario in particular did manage to establish his own reputation as a treasure hunter and even as an anti-hero. Waluigi, though, has been stuck at home while his cousins and brother have been out doing their own thing. Without a reputation of his own, Waluigi has been getting frustrated being known just as a ‘Luigi clone’ or ‘Wario’s creepy sidekick’.
One day he decided to change that.
So, while his brother slept in, Waluigi snuck out with a treasure map that Wario had found the day before. When the yellow-clad fatso woke up, his brother and his map was gone. Then he made the mistake of deciding it was about time his brother had his own chance to take the spotlight, so he let him go.
He decided this only for his brother to, a day later, stumble back into Toad Town, bleeding, and drop dead on the ground.
It’s been a year since then, though it felt like many. Wario has found he cannot enjoy his treasure like he used to- adventure even less. He’s abandoned the useage of explosives almost entirely. His black eyes have gotten perpetually tired and angry, his fists almost always clenched should anyone say a word that would make the man want to punch them out.
Being a man who has never cried a day in his life, Wario keeps his image very tightly controlled around the idea that he’s too angry, too hateful and too proud to shed a tear or care about another person. This has lead people to believe and even accuse him of never having cared for his brother- this hasn’t helped Wario’s psyche in the least. The more people say it, the more Wario even starts accusing himself of having let his brother die.
Recently, Wario’s been getting better. He’s started to enjoy himself more, keep up his act better. He’s starting to believe his own lies. All it takes, though, is the worst type of reminder to reverse this.
General Headcanons:
-Wario’s barely capable of caring for others platonically and almost completely incapable of caring for others romantically.
-Wario can be smart- mainly in the department of money-related mathematics and weapons expertise. It tends to never show, though.
-He never bathes unless he deems it absolutely necessary. Expect him to smell like a trashcan full of skunks on the better days.
-He hates kids.
-NEVER LET HIM DANCE. EVER. IT ENDS BADLY FOR EVERYONE.
-Wario secretly has glasses that he refuses to wear. They tend to magically show up on his face whenever he’s being smart, though.
-Due to being stout and close to the ground all his life, the yellow plumber doesn’t do well with heights. It’s around the point that he’s dangerously far off the ground that his fear would start to show.
-He loved his sleep and almost never got up before noon unless woken up. He stopped bothering with an alarm clock because he tended to smash it in his sleep whenever it goes off.
-At the time of Super Mario Land: Wario Land, Wario’s hair was curly- either because of his mom forcing him to wash his hair for once or otherwise something that was put on it. It straightened up before Wario Land 2, though.
Normal-to-AU Headcanons:
-Wario almost never smiles anymore. If he does, it’s almost always cold and cruel. Not that he ever had a kind smile to begin with, but these days he feels little enjoyment. The only time he does is when he’s forgotten about his brother for any amount of time- however, he’s hit in the face with self-hatred when he remembers when the laughs are done.
-Treasure is no longer his first priority, and will mainly only go after it if he’s in a really good mood. The second someone’s life starts being endangered, or the second things get way too familiar, though, he backs down. He knows what’s important.
-He hasn’t used a bomb in a long time.
-He has felt self-loathing concerning his brother’s death, feeling like he should’ve gone out there to stop it.
-Though he still attends Mario’s events, he doesn’t cause trouble anymore. He leaves that department to Bowser and Jr.
-Though Wario has never cried, he’s been on the verge of doing so a number of times- the first time being when he first got the news of his brother’s death, the other times when the loss was still new and haunted him the most.
-He hasn’t kept in touch very well with anyone.
-He’s developed insomnia, and while on one hand it keeps him from having nightmares, on the other he wants his goddamn sleep.
-Incidentally, Waluigi would have died before the release of Mario Kart 7- which is the explanation in this universe for why he didn’t appear in that game. Following that, thus, the events of every game after that one do not have Waluigi in them and Wario will act appropriately.
-He’s also become a huge caffeine addict. He probably goes through at least ten cups a day.
Childhood:
-Wario was a huge bully and troublemaker, being the one kid that nobody liked but everyone respected out of fear. He was really cute back then, though.
-He didn’t have any real personal friends besides Waluigi as a kid, despite having a circle of people acting the role of friends so that nothing bad happened.
-If anyone tried to say anything bad about his brother, Wario would beat them up. He was a few beat-up would-be bullies away from expulsion by the time he got out of school.
-He was an awful student- he never paid attention and got lousy grades.
-Wario’s always been a Mama’s Boy.
-He used to have a crush on Princess Peach, but after high school it passed… mostly.
-Though there are rumors flying around that Wario and Mario were childhood friends, that wasn’t entirely true. Sometimes they got along- for instance, they started rumors at their elementary school about an Unagi-like monster in the rarely-visted swamp nearby. Otherwise, Mario took the most of Wario’s bullying, due to the fatter kid’s envy towards his cousin.
Relationships:
-Wario and Waluigi had a pretty good brotherly relationship. Wario could never bring himself to attend his brother’s funeral or visit his grave, however, unable to stand the thought that if he did he might break down in public.
-Wario absolutely LOATHES every fiber of Mario’s being. Most of this hatred stems from jealousy, due to being constantly shadowed by the red plumber- the day Mario finally falls from grace is a day Wario looks forward to. Especially since Mario’s crowning does Wario hate the red plumber- he would love to see him dead. He feels like if there’s one problem that can be fixed, it’s Mario’s overabundance of good fortune- someday Wario may even be driven to assassinate him.
-Although he was far from fond of Luigi, the treasure hunter didn’t fully hate him. This is because they were both shadowed by Mario- but to imply that Wario could relate to Luigi would imply him giving a rat’s ass about him. When Luigi disappeared, Wario pretty much just shrugged it off.
-Wario has just the slightest fuzzy feelings towards Peach. He doesn’t bother denying it, but he doesn’t act on it, either. He doesn’t care that much.
-The yellow plumber isn’t fond of the King Koopa, but if Bowser needs someone to bomb a stadium or cause trouble otherwise, Wario’s fully willing to help out. This would be the only time they’d ever get along.
-He has a certain amount of respect for Daisy. Since they both have lost loved ones and have a lot in common, Wario acts less like an ass to her. However, it’s hard to say if he actually cares about her or not.
-As suggested by their Mario Party team name, Wario and Toadette are friends. It’s a rather odd friendship, given that they’re pretty opposite in most respects. They bonded over their love of mischief, most likely.
-Toad is basically Wario’s punching bag whenever there’s no Mario brother to use as one. However, he refrains from being an ass to him if Toadette’s around.
- Wario’s feelings towards Captain Syrup were originally very much along the lines of a love-hate relationship. However, he feels more neutral, maybe even more on the good side of things than before, since he no longer honestly cares about the wrong she’s done him in the past. Granted, however, his recovery is starting to bring back the part of him that wanted to wring her neck, too- more slowly than his admiration for her, however.
